7. Excrutiatingly Painful Foot Massage

On our last night in Taiwan, Tristan convinced me to go for a foot massage, which is some gruesome torture perfected by the Taiwanese. First they burn the skin off your feet in boiling water, then crush your vertebrae in a brutal back massage, and finally pummel the tendons in your feet until you want to die. I almost cried a few times, while Tristan was giggling and grimacing with agony. My masseuse was middle-aged sadist who actually took a knife to my feet. Tris lucked out and got a big, fat blind dude with a grip like death. Tristan says he expects the hair on his legs to fall out soon.