東大寺 (or When Deer Attack)

The horror! The horror! Hundreds of innocent schoolchildren cruelly ripped apart by bloodthirsty deer. Their screams of anguish still haunt me.... Seriously, the shrill voices of these schoolgirls was ghastly. Yes, finally, I went to Nara. Saw the man-eating deer, Todaiji Temple (largest & oldest wooden structure in the world) and the Daibutsu (大仏), which is a big-ass Buddha. The place was absolutely crawling with smelly teenagers and scabby kids. I think I lucked out and went on National School Field Trip Day.

The boys are back in town!

Woo, back from Taiwan, safe and sound. Otsukare! Here is the hotly anticipated top 10 countdown, as decided by Erica Stibicl and Pristan Sielsend, the Taipei Masters.

1. Taroko Gorge

The roaring white-water rapids cascading through spectacular marble cliffs... hidden temples nestles in the rocky outcroppings... creeping mist cloaking the mountain tops. Such was Taroko Gorge, best thing we saw in Taiwan. We spent a good chunk of our time gazing in wonder at the surroundings and busting out the theme from Lord of the Rings. DAA da-da-da da-da DAAAA. Side note: we shared the tour with 7 charming Japanese ladies, variously named Something-ko (Emiko, Kazuko, etc) our fav being Junko (in the blue-green), a chain-smoking, street-wise granny who grunted her disapproval several times during the day.

2. Taipei 101

Ahh, Taipei 101. Tristan was almost beside himself, bouncing around like a kid at Christmas, at the thought of entering the World's Tallest Building. Some facts: it's 509 m tall, has 101 floors above ground, and contains the worl'd fastest elevator which travels at 16.83 m/s (see further down the list). Taipei 101 will remain the tallest building for a few more years, until it's eclipsed by the Burj Dubai in the UAE, which is still under construction. Tristan says: "No one has ever been in a taller building than us. Awesome!"

3. Longshan Temple

Or as I call it, Longshanks Temple ("I'll have you, Longshanks!" obscure LOTR quote). We dragged our sorry asses out of bed early to see the faithful gather in black robes and begin a hypnotic chant. [side note: the chanters were mostly women 'cuz everybody knows men can't chant sutras like us.] Built to honour the Goddess of Mercy, it's now home to many more deities that got misplaced when older temples got torn down. We were fascinated watching this old lady playing a solitary game of dice with what looked like 2 wooden chili peppers. Uh-oh, looks like someone has to clean the drain out!

4. Din Tai Fung Restaurant

We were recommended to eat here not once, but twice! That meant we *had* to go. It only took us about 10 hours of wandering through side-streets to get there. [side note: it's always good to travel with at least one skilled map-reader.] We sampled some delectable steamed dumplings at what is ranked among the top 10 restaurants in the world. It was crazy busy and we actually had to order before they led us inside and sat us at a table. The food was delicious and really filling- we ordered too much, and tragically, had no room to sample the wonders of Ice Monster, which was located a few doors down the street.

5. KTV Holiday Karaoke

"When the feeling's right I'm gonna run all night, I'm gonna run to you... " I think the karaoke places in Japan could learn a thing or two from these guys. They're open 24 hours a day too. We had our own cushy room, complete with mood-lighting and a private bathroom, plus a free drink bar and snack buffet. We got 3 hours of singing, including 6 beers, for about 2500 yen. We almost lost our voices, not so much because of the amount of singing, but because we spent a few songs perfecting our Bryan Adams growl. Tristan says, "Awesome!"

6. The World's Fastest Elevator

Alright, I wasn't that impressed but Tristan insisted it be in the top ten so here we are. I think he loved the elevator as much as the actual Taipei 101 building.We were really packed into the elevator, then the room went all dark and little twinkly stars appeared while a white-gloved girl explained what was happening. In Chinese. There was a lot of Japanese tourists around Taipei, so I heard a few muffled "sugoi's" as well. This is a picture of the information display about the elevator. Tristan says, "101!! Awesome!!!"

7. Excrutiatingly Painful Foot Massage

On our last night in Taiwan, Tristan convinced me to go for a foot massage, which is some gruesome torture perfected by the Taiwanese. First they burn the skin off your feet in boiling water, then crush your vertebrae in a brutal back massage, and finally pummel the tendons in your feet until you want to die. I almost cried a few times, while Tristan was giggling and grimacing with agony. My masseuse was middle-aged sadist who actually took a knife to my feet. Tris lucked out and got a big, fat blind dude with a grip like death. Tristan says he expects the hair on his legs to fall out soon.

8. Martyr's Shrine

This was a lucky choice on our part- we only went because it was close to the Grand Hotel and free, but it turned out to be amazing. This shrine was erected to honour fallen soldiers who had fought for Taiwan's freedom. The scale was impressive in itself, but the real magic happens once an hour when the guards march from the gate to the shrine to change places, and then back again. I say march, which wrongly implies speed. These guys have an elaborate step (lift arm, raise knee, lower arm, drop foot, drag other foot's toe along the ground) which means they take 10 minutes to do 2 minutes of walking. Note the lines running down the cement in the picture: it's from years of marching soldiers dragging their shiny black boots towards the main building.

9. Grand Hotel

Well, it was big and red and slightly higher quality than our charming hotel. I made Tristan go in with me and I felt all dirty and out of place in the presence of such luxury. The lobby was beautiful, and the staff were very eager to help us out. It actualy took us awhile to walk there from the station, and we passed the Taipei Story House, which is a Victorian replica tea place. Tristan said it was nothing compared to the real deal in England so I will never know the joy of sipping tea in the Story House.

10. National Palace Museum

Here we got our fix of concentric balls, bronze cooking vessels and the infamous jade cabbage. The museum is located just outside the main city, so we had to brave the bus to get there but it was worth it. This museum actually houses a ton of precious artifacts from China- they were sent to Taiwan for safe-keeping during the war with Japan but somehow Taiwan *forgot* to give them back. It's pretty impressive to see art that dates back 2000 years BCE, and we managed to avoid the flood of schoolkids who arrived in the late afternoon. Before we returned to the hotel, we chowed down at what may be Taiwan's 2nd best restaurant... mmm, grey boiled egg and tomato juice sure hits the spot.

Honourable & Dishonourable Mentions

-I bought 2 pairs of shoes in Taiwan and left 2 pairs behind in the hotel room.
-New World Hotel: it was cheap and mostly insect-free but the staff were a wee bit dim.
-HAM-burgers: burgers made with ham aren't delicious.
-Coke Zero is better than Diet Coke.
-Snake Alley (pictured): fillet of turtle and snake blood cocktails. Tristan's verdict: dodgy.
-Ximen: Our "patch" in Taipei, home to the young and the hip (that's us!)
-7-11 owns about 99% of all real estate in Taiwan, since we saw a billion of them during our stay.

*sob* Another one bites the dust

Alas, poor Stew... gone to the big poker table in the sky. By that I mean Mauritius of course. I'm really sorry to see you go. No one should leave Japan before I do, it's too damn distressing. Have fun fishing in your tropical paradise. And I'll catch up with you in Deutschland for sure. Meet me at the petshop!